Return to Sender

So regular readers [lol, I know there aren’t any] will recall I recently cancelled my NBN service with Dodo and switched to Kogan. Well Dodo do this thing where they tell you that if you cancel your service, you have to send back the router they gave lent to you. But how?

In the Contract

The contract I’ve got says this:

You may buy a modem outright from Dodo or opt for a Dodo supplied modem at $0/month. The supplied modem must be returned if your service is cancelled. A nonreturn fee ($109) applies 30 days after cancellation if not returned.See website for current charges. Modem may be refurbished. Pick up hardware from Dodo (Clayton, Victoria) or have delivered for $24.90 (Postage & Handling).

But no actual address is provided as to where the router - it’s not a modem - has to be sent. Let’s check the website.

Dodo Website

Here’s what the Dodo website says on the matter:

How do I return my hardware? - You’ve let us know that you no longer require your hardware.
- Shortly after you will receive a return code via SMS and email.
- Take the hardware to your preferred Australia Post store and present the code to have your return packaged and processed free of charge. If you do not have the code already, please contact us on 133636.
- Keep your receipt as a record of your return.
- Please return the handset within 30 days to avoid a handset non-return fee.
- Click here to locate your closest Australia Post.

Again; no address provided - and it’s not a handset (?) either. But it does sound like they will pay for the postage, so that’s good I guess.

The Call Centre?

Now, I had already called them when I cancelled the service, and at the time I was told something similar to the above - I’d be sent a ‘code’ that I could use to take to the post office to return the hardware. That must’ve been close to two weeks ago; nothing. Nothing on my e-mail, nothing on my SMS.

I called again today. I was on hold for ~10 minutes before someone answered. I told him what I needed (i.e. the address to send the router back to); his response was ‘hang on I’ll transfer you’. I was immediately put on hold again; nothing about who I should speak to or how long I should expect to wait. I waited ~15 more minutes before I hung up.

Dodo don’t have a system that tells you that you’re in a queue, it’s just interminable music. So as far as I could tell, I’d been sent to the void.

Message Service

Getting somewhat annoyed by this point, I went back to the website and found their system for sending an enquiry. I sent them this:

I cancelled my service and I knew I needed to return the router. The contract paperwork does not say where it needs to be returned to. I spoke to your call center and was told I would receive a code to return the router. The code never arrived. Your website does not provide an address to return the hardware to (https://www.dodo.com/self-service/hardware-returns). I called your call center and was on hold for ~10 minutes, got answered, told the guy what I needed and he put me back on hold. I hung up after 25 minutes. TELL ME WHERE TO SEND THE ROUTER.

Now What?

Look, I think I’m generally a reasonable person. But I have to send something somewhere or get charged $109, and I can’t find out where I have to send it.

It’s not in the contract paperwork.
It’s not on the website.
I haven’t been sent the information.

Does anyone think Dodo don’t really want it back? They really just want me to give up and pay the $109? Guess what Dodo; no dice.

I’m a reasonable person, and I’m happy to send your crappy Huawei router with it’s undocumented admin account* back to you, provided you tell me where I need to send it. I’ll even hold onto it for a reasonable amount of time to allow you to give me that information before I take it to the e-waste at the tip. But I won’t keep it forever. And what I surely won’t do is pay you $109.

Pfft.

*Yes, this applies to the Dodo router too, even though it’s a slightly different model.

Update!

So Dodo replied to my message:

This is regarding your cancelled NBN account with Dodo. You do not need to return the modem anymore. You can just keep it and might still use if you will get service with Dodo. You will not be charge for it so you can just keep your modem.

So, I guess they didn’t really want it back after all. Who would have guessed that a four year old router (it’s still not a modem) isn’t valuable to them….